


a-haunting we will (absolutely fucking not) go

by ilovemygaydad



Series: october 2019 spooky season stuff [1]
Category: Sander Sides, Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-10 14:18:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20853167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilovemygaydad/pseuds/ilovemygaydad
Summary: summary: virgil got a job at a haunted house, and he invites his boyfriends to come check it out.warnings: sympathetic remus and deceit, sass, a bit of swearing, pretty much panic attacks, haunted houses, hospitals are mentioned two or three times but it’s just the theme of the other part of the house, screaming, caps at the very end for a sentence, being an asshole, arguing, insults, making out is mentioned, a few kisses, contortionism, mention of blood/gore, creepy dolls, like three mild sex jokes, crying, and possibly something else





	a-haunting we will (absolutely fucking not) go

**Author's Note:**

> the prompt for this one is "fear," and i'm following [hiddendreamer68's october prompts list on tumblr](https://hiddendreamer67.tumblr.com/post/187839718185/yup-i-made-a-prompt-list-open-to-anyone-and)

“I know Virge said it wasn’t that scary, but…” Patton trailed off, wringing his hands in anxiety as the three teenagers stared up at the looming figure of Gloomy Valley Haunted Hause. “I dunno, guys… This seems pretty spooky.”

With a grand flourish, Roman swept his boyfriend’s hands into his own. “Patton, darling, there’s nothing to fear so long as I, the dashing Roman Knight, am here to protect you!”

“Roman--” Logan tried to scold, but he was immediately cut off again by Roman.

“Hush, stardust! We must forge ahead towards victory!” Then, softer, he said, “And Virgil really wanted us to come visit. He says he’s got a pretty sweet costume.”

The argument--if it could even be called such--was won over as soon as Logan gave a fond eye roll. The three boyfriends made their way into the front lobby and were immediately met with the sight of Roman’s twin brother making out with his significant other.

“Ew, Remus, god, you can’t even keep it in your pants for your _job_?!” Roman screeched and covered his eyes.

There was a soft chuckle and some shuffling as Remus presumably slid off of DC’s lap to fix his scary makeup. “I’m on _break_, idiot. Plus, none of the managers ever come out to check if Dee’s actually doing the front desk job, so we can do literally whatever we want.”

Roman made a face but uncovered his eyes when he felt Logan’s hand on his shoulder. DC hadn’t even bothered to clean up the black lipstick that had been smudged around their face, but they’d moved to their perch behind the desk. They smiled innocently at Roman and said, “Welcome to Gloomy Valley Haunted House--the best haunted house in all of Blooming Valley. We offer discounts to threesomes; would you like that?”

Patton made a harsh choking sound, and Logan went bright red, but Roman simply glared daggers at his brother’s partner. “Oh, you’re very funny, DC. Have you thought of taking up being a comedian, or are you just going to live your life as a joke?”

“Are you going to become a bird? Your eyeliner is big enough for you to fly away!”

“Take it back, you son of a bi--”

“Oh my god,” Logan cut in with an exasperated sigh. “Will you two children please shut the hell up?”

DC scowled but turned back to the desk computer. “Would you like tickets for Haunted Hospital or Alice in Frightland?”

“Um, whichever one Virgil does,” Roman answered.

“Do I look like your boyfriend’s keeper?” DC snarked with an aggressive eye roll.

“Ugh, fine. Remus, do you know?”

Remus snapped his compact closed and nodded. His makeup, now in its full glory, made him look like a possessed doll. “Yeah. He’s on the Alice side with me.”

“That one, then.”

“Three tickets for the Alice in Frightland tour,” DC said in their fakest customer service voice. “The tour starts in a half-hour. Your total is thirty dollars.”

Logan quirked an eyebrow. “It says that the tickets are only five dollars per person.”

“Yeah, and I charge a one-hundred percent idiot fee. Fork it over, Camazotz.”

“That wasn’t even a clever insult,” Logan muttered as he handed over three fives and a handful of change.

After they received their tickets, the trio sat down on the loveseat pushed into the corner of the room. Logan and Roman sat next to each other, and Patton huddled into Logan’s lap. It didn’t mind Roman that Logan was picked over him because he knew that Patton was looking to distract himself from his worry by making out, and Roman still hadn’t figured out if he even _liked_ making out. Plus, he was completely content to curl into Logan’s side and occasionally receive a peck from either one of his boyfriends.

They were eventually called into one of the starting rooms and got a briefing on what would generally be inside. Roman appreciated that. He’d know what to look out for in case he needed to get ahold of Patton before he got too spooked.

It was pretty mild for quite a few rooms if Roman was being honest. Patton had only really been scared once, and that was because the “White Rabbit” was rather gory and creepy looking. All in all, it wasn’t that bad. 

The room that Remus worked in was about five or six rooms in, and it was… _something_. There were four human-sized dolls around the room, generally sitting in piles of toys or at a little tea table. All of them were completely still except for their eyes, which followed the group around wherever they went. Needless to say, it was unnerving as fuck.

They picked their way through the room slowly, carefully avoiding any misplaced toys that could be a tripping hazard; although, Logan seemed to be the only one truly worried about that. Patton was clinging on to Roman’s shirt for dear life as he glared at the actors. Roman might have found that endearing if he, too, wasn’t scared out of his mind. The room was honest to god terrifying, and Roman had already decided that he wasn’t returning to the haunted house based on the past thirty seconds alone.

But they were so close to the door--it was just a few tantalizing steps away! They were almost there, and then they would be free of this pediophobic nightmare forever.

Roman was just about to reassure his lovely, darling boyfriend that they would be okay when an actor dropped down from a hidden compartment in the ceiling and dangled right in front of them by a rope tied around their foot. The three teenagers screamed and scrabbled to grip each other in terror. The actor’s face looked extremely cracked and broken, and the leg that they weren’t being suspended from dangled lifelessly backward. Black, soulless eyes stared at them.

“Stay here and play with us,” it suddenly cooed, reaching out to grab them.

That kicked them into high gear, and they sprinted through the rest of the haunted house like madmen. They didn’t stop until they were back in the lobby, where they fell in a heap on the floor. Roman was crying, and so was Patton, and Logan seemed to have gone completely nonverbal. A family in the corner of the lobby eyed them suspiciously, but none of them cared. They were terrified. Rightfully so, Roman might add.

After a few minutes, they had all calmed down enough to move to some chairs to wait for Virgil. They were all a bit disappointed that they’d missed him in the haunted house, but the sadness was far outweighed by happiness to be out of there.

“Hey, guys!” Virgil called from behind them, and they turned to find the actor who had scared them. They stared in awe/horror for a few moments before Virgil said, “Guys?”

“Dude, what the fuck,” Roman finally exhaled.

“What? I work at a haunted house, and I’m a gymnast. What did you expect?”

It took a few tries, but Logan managed to sputter out, “You said that this h-haunted house w-was q-q-quote-unquote ‘lame.’”

“Yeah, and it is.” Virgil rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “I mean, our side is way better than the hospital--that one fucking _sucks_\--but… it’s nothing special.”

“That is _such_ bullshit,” Patton muttered. “I’m never taking your word for what is or isn’t scary ever again.”

“Aw, Patty, baby. Won’t you give me a kiss?” Virgil teased as he twisted himself into a bridge and scuttled towards his boyfriends.

DC’s shouts of “Will you four _please_ get the fuck out” were barely heard over Roman screaming, “BEGONE, FOUL DEMON!”


End file.
